somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
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Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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