i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
