he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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