I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
