It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
