And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
