I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
