Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
