i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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