How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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