PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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