I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
