You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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