I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
pop tarts are not kleenex
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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