There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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