I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
