____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
