btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
