so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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