youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
