sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
