I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
