fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
