I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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