Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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