Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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