She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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