i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
