Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish I only lived at night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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