i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
