Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
