Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
