Apparently you make a good broom.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
