His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
