dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
