Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize