someone threw a dead crab at me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize