I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
