I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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