Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize