I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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