No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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