My friends, they love my intelligence
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
