having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
