I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize