If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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