Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
