oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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