I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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