Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
