and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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