4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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