I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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