imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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