Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
