this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
