taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
