So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize