I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
