I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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