You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
