I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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