I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
